I should be sponsored by Trojan
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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