She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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