This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Someone signed my nipple.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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