Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
