Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize