Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize