My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
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I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
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I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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