Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
