Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
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You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
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What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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