so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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