Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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