I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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