You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize