She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
