We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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