nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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