he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
