its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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