Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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