That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
