"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
