we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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