I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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