Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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