i may or may not be watching the land before time
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Randomize