if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
