He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
