I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
