I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize