I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
