you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
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being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
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I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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