Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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