I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
