He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
is that a dick in a sweater?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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