I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
