Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
