Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
