Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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