I like to think it a success when the cops are called
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
