Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
