I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Im just a social blackout drinker.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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