Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
