trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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