I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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