you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Randomize
