Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
