Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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