so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
