Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
