Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
