drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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