I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
