True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
