I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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