Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
